Butterflies

"His talent was as natural as the pattern that was made by the dust on a butterfly's wings. At one time he understood it no more than the butterfly did and he did not know when it was brushed or marred."

Ernest Hemingway on F. Scott Fitzgerald /A Movable Feast

Sometimes the sky's too bright,
Or has too many clouds or birds,
And far away's too sharp a sun
To nourish thinking of him.
Why is my hand too blunt
To cut in front of me
My horrid images for me,
Of over-fruitful smiles,
The weightless touching of the lip
I wish to know
I cannot lift, but can,
The creature with the angel's face
Who tells me hurt,
And sees my body go
Down into misery?
No stopping. Put the smile
Where tears have come to dry.
The angel's hurt is left;
His telling burns.

Sometimes a woman's heart has salt,
Or too much blood;
I tear her breast,
And see the blood is mine,
Flowing from her, but mine,
And then I think
Perhaps the sky's too bright;
And watch my hand,
But do not follow it,
And feel the pain it gives,
But do not ache.

Dylan Thomas :

Oh, my Soul, she beats her wings And pants to fly away.......

 

 On a lazy Sunday afternoon I wandered over to the corner shop for my obligatory copy of The Observer. Some sod had bought the last copy, so I wandered back with a copy of the Sunday Times. It was this  article:- http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/newsreview/features/article1146967.ece  which I found both interesting and amusing in equal measures. 

The article focused on a man, a neuroscientist who, following a rare form of meningitis, had fallen into a 7 day coma, and had what can only be described as a "near death experience."  It was unusual in that this was experienced by a man of science, a neuroscientist no less, and what came as more of a shock was that according to him the angels in heaven were described as being like good looking women " 30 years younger than him with high cheekbones, deep blue eyes and golden hair, dressed in peachy brown, indigo and powder blue "peasant garb." His experiences has provoked an angry reaction from the religious community, with Christian fundamentalist arguing that his vision had no "sign of hell."
This vision of a traditional heaven complete with angels and resplendent with fluffy clouds and trumpets is all very well, and may well give comfort to those who believe in a more traditional view of the afterlife.  For me however, its left me feeling slightly bemused. I'm more than happy to leave this mortal coil if all the angels are going to look like Ryan Gosling when I reach the pearly gates, but what is the near-death-experience, are we really to believe that each time one of us falls into a coma we might possibly travel to see our loved ones or find angels waiting to greet us?
Near death experiences or NDEs as they're affectionately known, are visions experienced by the brain whilst unconscious - a profound psychological experience that can have a major impact on the individual.  Google "near death experience" and you'll find pages and pages of information on a topic that does not cease to rouse interest despite an increasingly secularised society.
In a REVIEW written in 2007 "Near death experiences, cognitive function and psychological outcomes of surviving cardiac arrest"

".....approximately 10—20% of cardiac arrest survivors report cognitive processes, including the
ability to recall specific details of their resuscitation from the period of cardiac
arrest. In addition it has been demonstrated that these cognitive processes are consistent
with the previously described near death experience and that those who have
these experiences are left with long term positive life enhancing effects."

So what if we take from that a simple joy in that regardless of what it is and what it means; dying brain stem or heaven calling, perhaps if it enhances what life we have left to live on this earth who cares whether or not it's heaven's waiting room?  And how about this: blind people have also been reported to have had near death experiences where they can see.

Reported incidents on near death experiences didn't start in the past 20 years either, they've been around since the medieval times. Looking at the shamanic lore of Central Asia and Siberia, Carol Zaleski describes a "prototypical other-world traveller"known as the shaman travelling in and out of the afterlife to retrieve the soul:-

"it is the shaman who accompanies the souls of the dead to their new dwelling places, and he again, who embarks on long, ecstatic journeys in Heaven to present the soul of the sacrificed animal to the gods and implore their divine benediction."

As far back as Upper Paleolithic times cave paintings found on Ice Age caves in France and Spain reveal mystical images, and in the lascaux cave a bird faced man falls backward or lies dead in the path of a dying bison. Zaleski argues that some historians of religion may wish to read a little more into the painting in that rather than a mere hunting scene  a prehistoric shaman is on a trance induced journey to other worlds; in the same painting a bird sits on a pole which also serves as a widespread shamanic image of ascension and flight.

Despite all this the BBC (October 2011) reported on existing research from psychologists from Edinburgh University and the Medical Research Council in Cambridge. They believe it is little more than "manifestations of normal brain functions gone awry" and that far from being journeys into the heavens, they are more likely to be tricks of the mind induced by shock and trauma to the body. British scientists dispute Eben Alexander's claims by arguing that "memory is fallible and malleable and that it is impossible to trust images generated when the brain is messed up."

So there you have it. You can either believe it or not believe it. For myself I would like nothing more than to believe that when I leave this earth I will see my loved ones again, I, like so many others, have buried people I love, both my parents are dead, and I've lost another uncle in the last month. Nothing that numerous other people haven't gone through before all over the world, I certainly don't have the monopoly on bereavement and loss. For myself I only hope I go quickly, my pain threshold is pathetic. Perhaps it's best not to dwell on it and wait until the day of reckoning arrives, and if it comes early, and you survive, well you could always write a book on the subject.

According to Eben Alexander its one of the best things that's ever happened to him, he's much nicer to people now, and he looks at least 10 years younger, if that's not an advertisement for journeys into the unknown then I don't know what is, and yes he's writing a book on it "Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey into the Afterlife."

I shall leave you with the words of Helen Keller:

"Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see."

When I go I choose to see either Ryan Gosling or Ryan Tedder with blue eyes dressed as angels holding out tanned muscular arms beckoning me to come in for a heavenly beer........

References

Parnia. S, et al,, "Near death experiences, cognitive function and psychological outcomes of surviving cardiac arrest." Resuscitation (2007), doi: 10 101b/J.resuscitation. 2007.01.020.

Zaleski., Carol. (1988)., Otherworld Journeys: Accounts of Near death Experience in Medieval and modern times. Oxford University Press

BBC News Near-death experience 'all in the mind' http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15494379 October 2011

Opening line of Blog title from: Conference Between Christ, The Saints, And The Soul, Christina Rossetti. 1863