Monday 30 November 2015

I crave certainty in an uncertain world



Suffering from anxiety as I do, I often crave certainty. I don’t just crave it, I demand it. I want to feel safe, safe from the terrors of the unknown, for the unknown promises uncertainty, foreboding, darkness and potential misery.

If I am certain, then I am safe. If I am certain, then all will be well.

That is all I ask.

Not everyone is a fan of certainty, the physicist Carlo Rovelli believed that a complete lack of doubt was undesirable, and that certainty about everything had the potential to be damaging. 


Will I only acheive certainty by doing nothing?


But not to the anxious.

“Certainty is the death of wisdom, thought, creativity.”

Shekhar Kapur

Strangely, I have done things in my life that have brought me no certainty - single parenthood and self-employment, instead of the security of Mr Nice, a white picket fence and a secure job.

Perhaps deep down, I want risk and excitement but with the promise of a happy ending.

Sadly it doesn’t work that way.

“There is no certainty, there is only adventure.”

Roberto Assagioli

I want adventure but with a promise of certainty, but adventure cannot bring certainty, only risk.

But what is it David Bowie said in Law, Earthlings on Fire, “I don’t want knowledge, I want certainty.”

Except I would like both.

Perhaps I should follow Bertrand Russell’s advice and study philosophy.

“To teach how to live without certainty and yet without being paralysed by hesitation is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy, in our age, can do for those who study it.”
Bertrand Russell



To live without certainty and yet not be paralysed by hesitation.

So it is to finally accept uncertainty in my life and not be crippled by doubt or;

To have certainty in my life, but without the joy of risk and adventure.

It is a difficult choice.

Thursday 26 November 2015

Why are women expected to grow old quicker than men?



In writing this post, I’m going to reveal that yes, I’ve been watching a reality show, for those of you who look down on such things, look away now. It may be a little low brow for you, but there we are, we can’t always have our head in a volume of Marcel Proust.

Yes, I managed to boycott The X Factor this year and Celebrity Big Brother, but I didn’t manage to ban all reality TV from my viewing list. Shoot me, I’m human.

So the programme I’m going to talk about is ‘I’m A Celebrity, Get me Out of Here,” which has highlighted for me how women are viewed as they get older. In a small jungle camp in the middle of Australia we have a microcosm of the kind of ageism women are up against all the time.

I’ve been on Google and tried to see if anyone else has picked up on it, but no, all I read about are the arguments and endless disagreements, which I guess is all people really want to hear about.



 So the two protagonists are Duncan Bannatyne and Lady C. Yes, there’s been a lot of disagreements and a few insults thrown with regards to those two, but let’s put that aside for a moment and just look at them as two distinct individuals.  

We have Duncan Bannatyne, a millionaire entrepreneur who is described by Vicky, our Geordie reality star from Geordie Shore, as a “sort” which is a Geordie way of saying he’s fit. There are comments about how attractive he is, and we are given the impression that he has sex appeal as far as the ladies are concerned. He is seen as being quite capable and physically fit enough to take part in any trials, and is treated in the same way as any other campmate. Duncan Bannatyne has not taken part in any bush tucker trials as yet.

Lady C is a colourful character who married aristocracy and is from a distinguished Jamaican family. She is quite ballsy and has fallen out with a few of the other campmates. She has taken part in numerous trials after being voted to do them by the British public. She has won several stars for at least two of what’s known as “bush tucker trials.”

She is treated by the other campmates as being someone who needs to be taken care of as an older person. She can’t be left alone because of her age, and this is commented upon more than once. Her age and her supposed fragility is referred to in more than one conversation, not just by the men, but the other women as well.

You would be forgiven for thinking that Duncan Bannatyne is considerably younger than Lady C. But he’s not – because they are both EXACTLY the same age. They are both 66.

So why are they both treated as if one is a sex god, and the other one is ready for a nursing home? Could it explain, perhaps why Lady C is always is in such a bad mood?

For me, it just reminds me of how deeply entrenched such views are, not just by men, but by women as well. Men can pick up younger women as they get older, they can reinvent themselves, and they can run around like a teenager well into their 60s and 70s.

Women on the other hand are meant be quiet and shut up as they enter their 40s, 50s and 60s. Don’t express your views, don’t disagree, don’t have colourful opinions and just disappear.

Personally, I really hope Lady C wins “I’m A Celebrity…..” and sticks it out till the bitter end, putting her fingers up to the lot of them, although I think she’s done that once or twice already……

I'm also going to take a leaf out of Lady C's book and behave disgracefully as I get older -  and I'll be wearing purple.