Far from the madding crowd...

You know that feeling when you're all out of inspiration and energy and all you really want is to disappear for a while, to a place where no one can find you ? You feel the solution is a break, a week away. A place somewhere in the sun where you can recharge your batteries and indulge yourself in some serious relaxation. Admire the view and adjust your mind, your imagination and your eyes, to a different skyline and a more interesting landscape.

Thing is, I already live in a place like that. I have the sea, sun, sand, boats, mountains and lush grassland at my disposal. And when you live somewhere like that – where do you go on holiday? 

A different landscape

I get up from my desk and I go on a “jolly,” there’s always new places to explore, new restaurants to eat, and, a few little shops tucked away that I haven't seen before.

I only have to travel, say 20 miles further  up the coast, and although none of it’s new, I often see it with different eyes. It's like looking at a detailed painting, there's always something I missed the first time round, always something new and different, something worthy of further exploration.

I spend so much time in ‘my office,’ that leaving the house is rare, there's always so much to do. So if I feel it's getting too much, then the sea, mountains, and picture postcard scenery of another town or village a few miles up the road is the answer.

I'm lucky to live where I do, there's always somewhere I can sit undisturbed. Somewhere I can sit and ask myself what the hell am I doing, and allow my question to be answered. 

I was in many forms
before I became free..."

Battle of the Trees.  Taliesin 

Take me somewhere different

My solution this time was to travel a few miles up the coast and stay with friends opposite a public footpath leading to a mountain complete with ruined  castle. Then in the local village, cross the road and sit and enjoy the view of the Conwy Estuary with a liberal selection of boats sitting nicely on mirror clear water. From there I sat and threw a few pebbles and watched them skim the water, then watch the speed boats and small yachts go by.

Opposite there were a few shops and restaurants, some more expensive than others, one offering a select gaming menu, situated in a 3 to 4 story white washed house, then one or two small tea rooms serving cakes and tea in perfectly painted china. That day we settled on a small restaurant “The Olive Grove”  serving simple vegetarian and meat dishes with local and organic produce. They served  tea in perfectly painted china too - sweet little ivy strands winding themselves round the cup and saucer, the gold rim preventing the ivy from escaping on to the rustic  wooden table.

The Vardre

Later in the afternoon a leisurely stroll up Deganwy mountain to the ruins of an old castle with lush green, craggy mountain tops and the sea visible in the distance, a firm grey smoky line, a reminder of my childhood past. The sea was always quietly staring back at me as I tried to fathom it out. I could never work out its secrets.

A different mindset

I am satiated now, and  throw in long leisurely chats, glasses of chilled rosé and a few home cooked meals that I didn't have to make myself and I am refreshed and reborn, recovered enough to face another day.

If you're not local, I highly recommend the area for refreshing your mind and body, there are some beautiful places to see here in North Wales  rugged areas of exploration that, although you know that someone's been there before, always makes you feel like you're visiting it for the first time.

"Conjure up majestic trees
in great numbers
and resist the mob".

Battle of the Trees Taliesin

Never allow yourself to feel we're just too far away, we're just north of your border, close to the sea, craggy mountains waiting to envelope you, and dotted here and there, a few goats, sheep and the odd farmhouse. But you don't have to be alone, there are seaside towns and Victorian boarding houses with the sweetest tea rooms you're likely to come across. 

Plan your escape now. 

The Breton Top

For a top that started out initially as part of a sailor’s outfit and introduced into the French Navy in 1858 (Brittany) this stripey top has seemed to have had a constant  renaissance, never going out of fashion, always spotted somewhere, just when you thought you’d seen the last of it. A wardrobe staple that can be worn with almost anything, from shorts to skirts, to skinny jeans and Capri pants, the Breton top is a stylish, versatile separate.

The Mariniere or Matelot

Yes, the simple Breton top was given a far more glamorous name than that which we now know it by, and came with 21 stripes, each one chosen to represent Napoleon Bonaparte victories.

The 3 main makers of the ubiquitous Breton was Tricots Saint James and Bretagne. It would adopt the name Breton after its workers found it easy to work in. And you could easily spot a Breton top because of its stripes, so a seaman could be seen from a good distance. So this is never a top that you can hide in.

It originally came with a slashed neckline or the boat neckline as it was known, which is a more traditional version of the original Breton shirt. However, there have been variations over the years and they don’t always follow the strict rules of the old Mariniere.

A million different ways to wear it and worn by a million different people, some famous, some not

Yes, the Breton top comes in many guises and isn't just worn by the regular Joe Bloggs, they’re seen on celebrities everywhere, and what’s interesting is that sometimes you’ll see the same celebrity wearing it again and again on numerous different occasions. If that isn't a ringing endorsement for a fashion piece I don’t know what is.

For the most stylish fashion icons and Breton fans think Brigitte Bardot, Audrey Hepburn, Jean Seberg and today’s more recent fans of the Breton top, Kate Moss, Alexa Chung and Sienna Miller.

I can’t think of any other top other than the white tee and the denim shirt that is so versatile and easy to wear. 

You can find Gillian on pandora.77@hotmail.co.uk and www.taith.net Gillian is a freelance digital copywriter and if you'd like her to write for you then drop her an email.

We're never really self-sufficient, no matter how much we try and shut the world out

Testament of Youth, Vera Brittain. 1933

" ......I have had to learn again and again the terrible truth of George Eliot's words about the invasion of personal preoccupations by the larger destinations of mankind, and at last to recognise that no life is really private, or isolated, or self-sufficient. People's lives were entirely their own, perhaps - and more justifiably - when the world seemed enormous, and all it's comings and goings were slow and deliberate. But this is so no longer, and never will be again, since man's inventions have eliminated so much of distance and time ; for better, for worse, we are now each of us part of the surge and swell of great economic and political movements and whatever we do, as individuals or as nations, deeply affects everyone else."

But it's true, isn't it??

Escaping the hamster wheel

Sometimes you feel like you've made an escape from the rat race, the oneupmanship and the constant put downs, only sometimes, you feel like you're being pulled right back in....

It takes tremendous courage to just walk away....

But when you do, it feels like you've just stepped away from a cliff edge. And it's such a relief.

If I could be anyone it would be Veronica Lake......

Veronica Lake - the ultimate femme fatale

November 14, 1922 – July 7, 1973

From one anxiety sufferer to another......

"Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic."

Anais Nin

Anxiety works in strange and insidious ways. Over the years it's made me a coward, a procastinator, a hero, a persistent worrier and an emotional wreck. I'm not always sure how I'll react to any given situation, until I'm almost in it.

The difference between now and years gone by is that I now recognise it for what it is, I can try and rationalise it, talk sense to my anxious brain, make myself breathe a certain way. It doesn't always work, but I consider it a small triumph that I'm prepared to acknowledge it's existence at all.

I've even sought a cure over the years, CBT, medication, hypnosis (in the comfort of my own bedroom) and now I'm trying meditation out. I'm sceptical about the latter, as I've not always been a great fan of meditation and I'm unsure as to whether it'll work, but it's early days.

 "Surrealist" on Flickr

I suffer with the odd bout of depression and I have IBS, which are all intrinsically linked to each other like a chain of worry beads. It would be easy to divorce the world and stay indoors where nothing can hurt you, but doing that is to give in, to give in to your own demons. Once they have their fingers round your throat, it's game over.

I've always been reluctant to discuss it, or to hear my own voice say it, I always fear that once people know, you're labelled for life and defined by it, by well meaning people who seek to either protect you from what they think you might fear, or protect themselves from what they fear will be your gross over reaction to any given situation, and whether they'll be able to handle it.

Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity. Really, is it???

T. S. Eliot

 Stanley Meltzoff

I always think that anxiety not only makes cowards of ourselves, but cowards of others, who are confounded and fearful of anything that might come under the umbrella of "mental illness."

I also think sometimes, that there are others who suffer from the same anxiety issues, but are in denial, and another anxious person might trigger an attack which they are loathe to acknowledge.

How many people are there out there who suffer with anxiety issues? How many carry their secret fears and worries around like an invisible extra weight?

Depression is slowly being accepted as an illness to be treated seriously and discussed by the great and good, but how long will it be before we all sit and talk about social/general anxiety without trivialising it, the new plague of the 21st century?

Or is it better to keep it hidden?

And is anxiety a better way of coping, in some twisted way, are we who suffer with anxiety, a step ahead of everyone else, the least likely to die in a plane crash?

Probably not, because the majority of the things an anxiety sufferer fears are groundless.

Therefore we must attack it with laughter, never funny in the moment you're in it, but worthy of much laughter after the event.

"Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale."

Will Durst

If you suffer from anxiety issues, I'd love to hear from you. And any cures or treatments that have helped, I'd love to hear about that too.

And we can at least laugh about it amongst ourselves.....

Reading Round-up 2014

So it's a new year and a new reading list…of sorts. I've tried hard not to make any New Year’s resolutions, however I am going to up the ante on my reading consumption.  

Before I count up a year’s reading for 2014, here's a rundown of what I read in the latter half of 2014.

From September onwards:

The Listener/Tove Jansson

The Unbearable Lightness of Being/Milan Kundera

Radical/ Maajid Nawaz

Vivienne Westwood/Ian Kelly & Vivienne Westwood

Fear of Flying/Erica Jong

The Doors of Perception/Heaven & Hell/Aldous Huxley

Night/Elie Wiesel

Steve McQueen/Marc Eliot

My Husband, My Lover/Neile Adams

A Christmas Carol/Charles Dickens

Venus in Furs/ Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch

The Avenue of Regrettable Fairwells/Venus DeMileage

That's 24 books in all for all of 2014 (counting the first 6 months of the year in a previous blog).
That's a rate of 2 books per month. I find I'm a slow reader and can't really work my way up to 1 per week. A realistic goal then I think, keeping in mind all these mitigating factors, is that for the rest of 2015, I shall read 3 per month. Upping the ante to 30 in a year.

I think that's a realistic figure to aim for, and if I can match it or double it, then I'll be happy.

My reading has started well, but starting, typically for me, with a large book (which is another thing that slows down my reading) A Testament of Youth, Vera Brittain. I'm also still trying to read Barry Commoner’s The Closing Circle, Man, Nature & Technology.

I have authors I'd like to either read more of, or read for the first time.

First timers are Neil Gaiman and Francois Sagan. Revisits are Margaret Atwood and some Dickens. I've severely neglected Charles Dickens of late and would value a reawakening of my love of his writing, after a brief visit with A Chrismas Carol during the latter half of December (and after all, what other time of year would you read this?).   

So that's my reading year planned for 2015.

Any recommendations?

Please feel free to plunder my book list,

Until next time, au revoir...