I went to the gym today, to
restore my equilibrium, my sanity and my mood. Towards the end of last week, I
felt a terrible darkness, a darkness I hadn’t felt for some time. It was
momentary (thankfully) and only lasted a short time. I blamed it on
dehydration, and lack of food, but it became evident to me that I hadn’t been
to the gym all week as I was so involved with work. I therefore decided that
the dark mood was due to lack of exercise. However, it’s hard to judge, because
I know my body well enough to know that if I don’t eat or drink properly my
mood can sink into my shoes. But when I’ve exercised and I’ve not eaten or
drank anything properly, I still feel relatively normal.
I did start to wonder
whether I was developing some sort of addiction to exercise. Was exercise a
cure or a cause of my low moods? I know that when you exercise your body releases
endorphins, which helps with self-esteem, stress and anxiety and I also know
that I feel pretty amazing afterwards, so good that I no longer feel sad, miserable,
or bereft. If that’s an addiction then I’m happy to live with it. Apparently
endorphins trigger a happy and positive feeling that’s similar to morphine so
no wonder I may be feeling euphoric right now; I have a high, a high that
should last for at least a few days, until I go again.
I can’t abide Pilates or
Yoga, too slow, too precious and I’m bored within minutes. I may incorporate some of it into
my stretching at the end, but the bit that comes before is CV, free weights and
bars. I’m not into looking like a supermodel, but I do want to continue having
range of movement, good bone density and a happy heart as I get older.Endorphins also act as a sedative and an analgesic so hip hip hooray for endorphins. Those lovely little hormones sitting in your brain ready to kick start happiness mode so you can know what it feels like to feel positive again, even when there’s nothing to be positive about. A coping strategy, a saviour, a little bit of natural narcotic joy, free of charge, stored in your brain for when you need it.
The chemical structure of an endorphin - fascinating but so effective
Without it I’m not sure I’d still be here, but it certainly helps, perhaps not with the anxiety – that sometimes needs a little medical help, but depression and low moods are kept at bay by working up a sweat.
I love it. It helps me to feel human and normal and a better version of me that I’m quite happy to share with the world. It’s such a part of my life now, that to live without it would be impossible. I shall be doing it when I’m old, all sinewy and haggard running and chucking weights around.
