I
want a Roland Mouret dress more than I want to breathe, for when I wear an RM
dress I know I’m going to look amazing. This is pretty spectacular seen as I
don’t look that spectacular, I’m small in height and I carry a little extra
weight (not much), I’ll never see a size 10 again, not that I’d want to, I love
the size and shape of my body, but I’m no Claudia Schiffer. But I believe his
dresses were made for women just like me, because they can do what very few
other dresses can do – they can make you look far more amazing that you really
are.
They’re
for hour glass figures – that’s significant, because who anyone over a size 10
has a pretty good chance of being an hour glass. Stretch crepe or stretch
jersey, the dresses are made to fit your shape, so much so, that all I want to
do is to pour myself into one like wine filling a glass. Geometric shapes and
lace panels, block colours and black and white stripes. They’re designed to
flatter, enhance and make you look like you were born wearing it straight from
the womb, like a second skin.
I
have of course been spending a great deal of time on a luxury net a porter website
and to be perfectly honest, I may never leave. Naturally I’ll need accessories:
a skin tight Jimmy Choo ankle boot or a patent trim leather pump. Minimum accessories,
classy make-up, maybe a jacket or a Ender Legard corset to smooth out my hips
and push my breasts up. I want to dress like a lady, like a woman on a mission,
poised and ready. I may not be a lady, but I can dress like one and feel like
one, any time I choose, whenever I like, on my terms not yours.
Find
me an RM dress or if you’re feeling generous go over to his website and hand
pick me a shape and a colour and let me feel like a woman. In the words of
Portishead “All I wanna be is a woman.”
He was born in Lourdes - this is significant - he can perform miracles.
